JESUS WOULD SMACK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU

If Jesus returned on this holy day of 2008, would George be his first choice?

IF I DON'T KEEP THAT SHIT REAL, WHO WILL?

Pre-Settlement Days

Anucha Sanders, former vp of marketing and business operations @ Madison Square was recently awarded her 40 acres in the amount of 11.5 mil after filing suit against Isiah Thomas for sexual harassment. In April's issue of Essence she says, "I had been referred to as a bitch, ho, a mutherfucker, and was regularly bringing such issues to my management's attention." Ummm, MissAnucha that sounds like friendly BDSM wordplay. I thought sexual harassment involved numerous attempts @ ass-grabbing and requests to bend you over while no one was watching. Not that I'm implying you have to be in the running for the MissBeautiful awards, but I'm just saying...

{through clenched teeth} "That's right, CTC bitches!"

MAKE ME FEEL GOOD

While we're on the topic of Jack, let's plunge into the world of E--one of my favorite letters of the alphabet and X, the letter I pray for during Scrabble. I read about the so-called E Kingpin, Ken Francis (see the latest King Mag with MissToccara reppin' the thick women) and the first image-association was the scene in Disorderlies when the Fat Boys poker for pills. Crazy, right? Incredible Hulks, 4-Leaf clovers, 007s, ingenious and manufactured logos like the Nike swoosh and well, you can't help but "do it." While I'm not condoning or promoting daily usage of MDMA, it's no secret to members of the e-club why the drug was administered in the seventies to couples on the brink of a split-up. What I can't wrap my American French around is the backwardassness of our federal government and their need to condemn and prosecute pharmacists who happen to be Black or somehow intertwined with hip hop culture. No surprise the world is filled with hypocrisy. It comes so easily.

DEAR JACK, IT'S ME TWIG

If professional conversationalist was a job, I'd be ranked on Money Magazine's Top 100. Not that I'm the type of person who has a comment for everything, but I admit that I have the kind of antennae that pick up on fascinating shit, topics that I hear other people talking about 6 months to a year after I've moved onto some other shit. Old news that you probably forgot about... And my sense of humor can go any place I wanna take it. This blogging thing isn't new to me, but I figured that it would find its way to saturation one day. I just never knew when I would give in and join the ranks. They say bloggers should stick to journal-writing but I'm positive that if I left mine in plain view of company they'd find a reason to a take a peek. Today's entry would read like this: I just couldn't get right today. Everything I touched turned to shit, I even broke two glasses. I felt like I was living outside of myself, looking beyond the interstate where my car had flipped into a ditch. I don't have a typical 9-5 but if I did I would have surely went postal on this 20th day of March. I filled the tank @ 3.55/gallon and drove with no real destination, wondering what a creative chickie like me should do next with her life. Besides professional dominatrix who administers cbt in her private dungeon, I'd be the first Black, female poker player. (You would want to stay tuned, because I'll be entering into my first, professional tournament before the end of '08). Anywho, my chilled glass of Gentleman Jack (John Daniels when I'm in his company) brings me here to Bloggerville. Let's see where this goes.